Fate is not what it seems (BL)

when Callus closed his eyes he thought of Xavier like he always does but what he saw was something he didn expect

a vision

in it he was holding Xavier in his arms

Xavier was on his last breath

”Im sorry Cal- ” he spoke those final words

he then closed his eyes

Callus shook him

”zavi you can be dead- we were supposed to have forever you promised me- wake up! ” He shouted

there was no response

he put his head to his chest

there was no pluse

his heart stopped

he began to sob into his chest

”You can be gone- this isn fair Zavi- You promised- why did you have to break it?- ” he replied

he woke up with tears

that couldn be right could it?

Xavier couldn die- could he?

but maybe it was possible

but he still didn want it to be true

he loved him and he would be heartbroken

just as he saw – he remembered their

promise the two of them would be together

forever they couldn die they were vampires-

but he remembered what he had said

”they are still plenty of ways you could die ”

it was still possible- thats what he was saying

-but how did he die?- how was he going to?

he didn want to think about it

maybe it was best to appreciate what he had now-

”Hey- what were you thinking? it looks like you have been crying- what happened? ” Xavier asked

Callus jumped back

”where did you come from? ” he asked

”you invited me over remember? ” Xavier replied

”I- that still doesn explain anything ” he replied

”I always know where you are- it was the same with Lorain- ” Xavier replied

”so your ability is to stalk extremely well? ” he replied

”I guess you could say that- I just thought about you and I knew where to go- ” Xavier replied

”Oh- thats pretty cool- but didn you say you didn have an ability? ” he replied

”I never said I didn have one I just didn think it was as interesting- ” Xavier replied

”Well I think it is you can think of someone and know where they are- ” he replied

”but I don see them Im just told the directions and I follow ” Xavier replied

”its still pretty cool- you can track a person down just by a thought- ” he replied

”but you can read my mind and Lorain can see whats in others hearts and she can even see their future- Im just a efficient tracker- ” Xavier replied

future- he had seen it- hes going to lose Xavier- was Lorains vision wrong?

maybe it changed

tears came down his cheeks

Xavier looked up at him

Xavier began to wipe his tears

”Hey its alright- can you tell me whats wrong Cal? ” Xavier replied

”its not fair- why did it change?- I don want to lose you- ” he replied sobbing

Xavier hugged him tight

Xavier lifted his head up wiping his tears

”You
e not going to lose me Ill always be by yourside we
e vampires remember? ” Xavier replied

”they are still plenty of ways you could die- ” he replied

”weren you the one who told me to look on the brightside? so why can you? Im still here aren I? ” Xavier replied

”Yes but I don want to lose you- ” he replied

”You aren going to I promise well always be together forever- ” Xavier replied

he felt his heart break hearing those words

thats what you promised me in the future and you died-

he sobbed into his chest again

”What was it you saw? why are you acting like this? ” Xavier asked

Xavier lifted his head up again wiping his tears

”I-saw the future- and I didn want to believe it but you just said those words and you told the future me the same words- and you died ” he replied

”You saw me die? ” Xavier asked

”Yes- Im not sure how it happened but you died in my arms- and the last words you spoke were ”Im sorry Cal- ” Im not sure what you were apologizing for- maybe it was for dieing- but Im still unsure why it happened ” he replied

”Cal- the same thing happened to me- Lorain was in my arms as she died and her final words were ”Im sorry Zavi ” and it happened twice- and now you
e going to have to go through the same pain I went through- ” Xavier replied

”I have to go through it twice?- I don want that- I want to be with you forever- ” he replied

”and so do I-but even if it isn possible Ill still stay by yourside as long as I can ” Xavier replied

”then Can you stay with me now? ” he replied

”Of course I wouldn come over for nothing ” Xavier replied

”why did you come? ” he replied

”I-what do you think?- but when I saw how you were I changed my mind- seeing you in such a state- it reminded me of how I was when I lost Lorain- ” Xavier replied

”so thats why you stopped?- why do you care so much?- ” he replied

”I care because you do thats what love is- it isn just sex- and maybe that isn the best thing for us- can we start over? ” Xavier replied

”start over? but aren you the one who started this? ” he replied

”You are right and I want to be better- ” Xavier replied

”so when you say you want to start over do you mean you want to do it again?- ” he replied

”No- Cal- I did enjoy it but thats in the past now and I think we should start slowly ” Xavier replied

”slowly?-so- what do we do? ” he replied

”lets start with another hug ” Xavier replied

Xavier hugged him and Callus hugged back

Callus felt safe in his embrace

Xavier looked up at him and smiled

it was the first time he had seen it

and looking into his eyes he couldn see any lust in them only love

how was this possible?

he knew that Xavier had told him he had loved him but he still had doubts in his heart

but he could see it now-

Xaviers eyes moved down to his collar bone

he saw all the hickies had made

he turned bright red

”hey you
e the one who did it and said you wanted everyone to see them ” he replied

”well- it was just in the moment- and I wasn thinking straight- ” Xavier replied

”no you weren you were thinking gay ” he replied

Xavier punched him in the stomach

”I was joking zavi- ” he replied

”don do it again- ” Xavier replied

”and if I did? ” he replied

”I punch you again ” Xavier replied

”Your punches don hurt zavi- ” he replied

”they don ? ” Xavier replied

”No but it did hurt when you bit my fingers ” he replied

”did it hurt when I bit you again? and the hickies did they hurt too? ” Xavier asked

”No- I didn feel any pain just a strange sensation- but it wasn painful- I haven been able to feel much because I was paralyzed for so long- and I don remember much before it- just the woman who put me in that state- ” he replied

”I won push you too much but what do you remember about her? ” Xavier replied

”I remember her blond hair and brown eyes

and how she smelled of roses and tasted like strawberries- we ment in high-school

then we started dating we couldn separate from eachother and she told me she loved me

and the two us got married and started a company together- but things went downhill

she thought I was taking her spotlight

and she hurt me she put me in this state-

then when I was in the hospital I think she visited me once and she said some pretty cruel words to me- like how she couldn love me that I was worthless- and she continued sending roses and strawberries I hated it

I always ordered the nurse to throw them out

I didn like her constant reminder-and I don remember anything after that ” he replied

”wow- thats a lot I still kill that women the two of you were high-school sweethearts – and the two of you got married- and you started a company together and she thought you were trying to take it over? and because of that she beat you up and put you in that state? ” Xavier replied

”mhm- I really hate that woman- I may have loved her but that feeling is so distant now- after what she did I felt nothing for her

and I didn want to love again- because I was scared I get hurt again- and you did it twice- but I know you aren a bad person- at least to me- I can see how much you love me-and I still don understand it- whats so good about me? if the woman I loved couldn love me back?- ” he replied

”Callus- I know how you feel me and Lorain were high-school sweethearts too and she may not have hurt me like her but I knew she didn love me like I did- and then I found you but I ran away- and I chose her- and because of that she died again- I couldn bare with it I had lost her twice and I had to wait a hundred years- and when I found her you had her-

I was so mad- and decided to follow you

I was thinking of ways to get you to stay away from her and once I heard your confession

I changed my mind – I didn expect it-

and I started to think about my actions

I could see the way she looked at you

she looked happier than when she was with me- it made my heart ache what did she see in you? you couldn love her back you loved me- and I couldn understand why-

you barely knew me- Im not even a good person- I ran away from you- and I killed those people for no good reason- I didn even need thier blood- it tasted awful anyway- and I thought- I could use your body- and use you for my enjoyment- but I pushed those thoughts away- and I thought about your feelings and I wanted to return them but I wasn sure how to- I didn think I could love you- but I regretted what I did and you could still love me I didn deserve it- but I didn want to lose you- you were my warmth-

I felt safe loved – it was strange- but I didn hate it- I was even ok with your touches-

and I liked touching you- and tasting you-

I never had done these things before or wanted to I didn understand it- and I wanted more- but now- I can see how badly I hurt you-

I brought memories of the past- and I don think I could do these things again- ” Xavier finished

”Well I won force you but you liked doing those things to me didn you? ” He replied

”I did-but I ended up hurting you- and I don want to hurt you again- ” Xavier replied

”and you won Zavi do whatever feels natural to you and take it slow- you were rushing and thats how we got here- you were probably planning to f*ck me- ” he replied

”Well-I- well- I- was- but that probably isn a good idea now- you
e in a lot of pain- you
e going through a lot – my situation seems like a

mere pebble compared to yours- I don even remember it- but I know it was painful-

and I lost the one closest to me- and now Im losing you- ” Xavier replied

”You won lose me zavi- Ill be the one that loses you- ”he replied

”but I hurt you- Ive hurt you so many times now- what if I hurt you again? ” Xavier replied

”You won I know it I can see it in your eyes how much you care- you
e rethinking your actions aren you? ” he replied

”Yes- Im thinking of what I shouldn or should do again- but- I still want to do those things again- and hear those beautiful moans of yours- but Ill hold back for you ” Xavier replied

”I don want you to hold back- I want you to be comfortable with your actions- and if you want to do them again you can just take it slow- ok? ” he replied

”but what if I hurt you again? ” Xavier replied

”You won I know it ” he replied

”how do you know that? ” Xavier replied

”because I can see it- you love me- ” he replied

”I do but I hurt you so many times before- ” Xavier replied

”but you didn do it on purpose did you? ” he replied

”I hate hurting you but its all Im good at- ” Xavier replied

”thats not true you are good at other things- ” he replied

”like what? ” Xavier replied

”like- kissing- you
e kisses are so good- I can never get enough- and- you
e really good with your tongue- and your hands- and you give amazing hand jobs- ” he replied

”I- you
e really shameless- ” Xavier replied

”Hey you
e the one who did it- ” he replied

”Yeah you
e right-but why is that the only thing you could say? ” Xavier replied

”Well those are the only things Ive known- that you have done- and you
e really good at it- ” he replied

”Cal-what am I going to do with you? ” Xavier replied

”I don know what are you going to do? ” he replied

”I-I- can - ” Xavier replied

”can what? zavi you can do whatever you want to me- just start slowly- ” he replied

”are you sure? ” Xavier replied

”Yes- Ill tell you if I want you to stop ” he replied

Xavier leaned up and kissed him

pushing his tongue in Moving back and forth

wiggling it around Callus rolled his eyes back

he could almost moan

Xavier grabbed his tongue and pulled it back and forth letting go he wiggled his tongue around and pushed deeper

Callus felt intense pleasure

Xavier keep going moving his tongue around

Callus liked the sensations he was feeling

and he wanted more

Xavier finally released

and Callus let out a moan

”f*ck Zavi that was amazing- I really missed you- ” he replied

”I haven been gone that long weve been kissing like this for awhile- ” Xavier replied

”Well it was a long time for me- and I have lost you twice- and the first time I didn even get a kiss- ” he replied

”I barely knew you ” Xavier replied

”yet you licked me- ” he replied

”You tasted really good and I was hungry ” Xavier replied

”hungry huh? you really wanted more than my blood didn you? ” he replied

”I already told you- I wanted your body too and to use you but I was already scared of what I had done and I hoped you were dead- ” Xavier replied

”but I wasn and you found out you regretted it- because I loved you despite it- and you didn understand it and you wanted to try it out- but you rushed things and I got hurt- but I still love you and I hate to lose you again ” he replied

”even after everything you still love me? ” Xavier replied

”Of course I do you love me don you? ” he replied

”Yes- I love you very deeply and I hate seeing you hurt like this- and I want to protect you from everyone- and keep you forever- ” Xavier replied

”Zavi- are you sure you are alright? ” he replied

”Im not alright you know that-like I said before Im not a good person- Im a monster- ” Xavier replied

”You
e not a monster you just have trouble controlling your actions-and you always act before you think- and theres nothing wrong with that- but you still need to control yourself- and that takes time- and Im here to help you through it- because I love you zavi ” Callus replied

”but Cal- I really am a monster- I only cared about Lorain and I didn care if you got hurt-

I never cared – and I ended up hurting you- ” Xavier replied

”Zavi that isn true you did care when I asked you if you didn you told me that you did- that I was the most important thing to you and you didn want to lose me- thats true isn it? ” he replied

”Yes you are the most important thing to me and I don want to lose you but- I still hurt you- ” Xavier replied

”Zavi you still aren a monster you have a good heart- I may not be Lorain but I can see it- ” he replied

”do I really have a good heart?- aren I a bad person? ” Xavier replied

”What makes you think you
e a bad person? ” he replied

”I know it deep down- yes I cared about Lorain but I couldn care less now- she could die again for all I care- she didn love me- and I couldn treat you right- I used you and abused you- ” Xavier replied

”but you loved me deep down didn you? and you never physically hurt me ” he replied

”I know but it still wasn right- ” Xavier replied

”Well on the brightside you didn r*pe me ” he replied

”I- what- I wouldn do that- ” Xavier replied

”You sure? because that seems what you
e implying- ” he replied

”I- couldn do that to you- ” Xavier replied

”but you wanted to use my body didn you? ” he replied

”Yes but I don want to do that anymore I care about you-even if I made it seem like I didn - ” Xavier replied

”I know zavi- but don ever think of those things again- ” he replied

”What do you mean? ” Xavier replied

”nevermind- ” he replied

”What is it? ” Xavier replied

You f*cking sadist-

”nothing- it doesn matter ” he replied

”why can you tell me? what are you hiding? ” Xavier replied

”do you even know- yourself? ” he replied

”Yeah- like I said Im a terrible person- ” Xavier replied

”a part of you enjoyed hurting me didn it? ” he replied

”I-f*ck-maybe-? ” Xavier replied

”You f*cking sadist ” he replied

”You
e the one who woke it up- ” Xavier replied

”Well you woke me up too- ” he replied

”What do you mean? ” Xavier replied

I am a Masochist-

”nothing- ” he replied

”What are you hiding? come on cal you can tell me- ” Xavier replied

”I-sort of liked it- ” he replied

”liked what? ” Xavier replied

”I like when- you do things to me- and it makes me want more- even if you- devoured me and ate whole- and I liked it when you bit my fingers- and gave me- hickies- and bit my neck and told me I was yours- ” he replied

”You-did huh?-wow Cal- I was apologizing for nothing- ” Xavier replied

”You always do how many times I have told you that you could do whatever you want to me? ” He replied

”Oh- you
e a Masochist- ” Xavier replied

”You just realized that?- and its your fault ” he replied

”does that mean you liked it when that woman beat you up? ” Xavier replied

”No- only you- I hate that woman- and you could beat me up if you wanted- ” he replied

”I don want to beat you up at least not anymore ” Xavier replied

”You wanted to? when? ” he replied

”when you took my girl- ” Xavier replied

”Oh- yeah and like I said before Im sorry- but hey- you have me now- ” he replied

”thats true and you taste much better ” Xavier replied

”taste?thats very like you Zavi-and how do you know what she tastes like? ” he replied

”I- tried to tongue kiss her and she tasted gross- so I pulled my tongue back and I didn like it- I couldn go through with it so I gave up ” Xavier replied

”You didn fully tongue kiss her- good- ” he replied

”You could just read my mind- can you? ” Xavier replied

”I know- but I don like invading your privacy ” he replied

”liar- you always invade my thoughts- especially the ones I don want you to see ” Xavier replied

”Hey- its not like Im going to judge you- I imagine you in a dress remember? ” he replied

”f*ck I forgot about that- what the hell- ” Xavier replied

”didn you promise me that you would wear one? ” He replied

”I- realize that now-do you still want me to? ” Xavier replied

”only if you
e willing- I won force you into my fantasies- ” he replied

”What the heck is inside your head? ” Xavier replied

”a lot of things- but you are quite f*cked up yourself- ” he replied

”will you stop it? ” Xavier replied

”Nope-you
e fun to read- ” he replied

”I thought you didn like invading my privacy? ” Xavier replied

”I lied- ” he replied

”I knew it- ” Xavier replied

”so do you want to beat me up now? ” he replied

”nah- youve been in my head for so long- and most of my thoughts are about you ” Xavier replied

”its either me or Lorain- you always think about her- even when you think of me- ” he replied

”Im pretty sure she wasn there when I was f*cking you- ” Xavier replied

”I- but you- haven - ” he replied

”in my imagination- ” Xavier replied

”Oh-right- but will you ever? ” he replied

”are you doubting me?- and Im still not ready for that- ” Xavier replied

”I don doubt you- you
e probably really good at it- and you sure? ” He replied

”Well as I much as I Imagined it I don know how to do it- ” Xavier replied

”oh- don ask me haven got a clue how it works either- ” He replied

”You don ?- ” Xavier replied

”No- why would I?- this is the first time I liked a guy- ” he replied

”Yeah me too- ” Xavier replied

”guess we won do it huh? ” he replied

”we could still try- ” Xavier replied

”how would you do it then? ” he replied

”Im not sure but I have to enter you somehow ” Xavier replied

”enter- me? if you push me down- under my back- ” he replied

”wait- your a**?! ” Xavier replied

”I- think- so- thats how you did it in my imagination- ” he replied

”won that hurt? ” Xavier replied

”I think so- but I like pain- and it feels good after awhile- ” he replied

”I- still don think Im ready for that ” Xavier replied

”Well you don have to- I won force you- ” he replied

”I do want to- just not now- ” Xavier replied

”You- still want to? ” He asked

”of course- I still want to devour you- ” Xavier replied

”why are you waiting then? ” he replied

”I don want to hurt you- and now isn the best time- ” Xavier replied

”Oh-so what do we do then? ” He replied

”I don know but you wanted to go slowly remember? ” Xavier replied

”right- can we sleep then?- Im exhausted- ” he replied

”vampires don sleep- ” Xavier replied

”that isn true and you know it- ” he replied

”I only sleep every hundred years- ” Xavier replied

”then sleep with me now- or at least hold me tight- ” he replied

”alright Ill do it- ” Xavier replied

both of them layed down

Xavier wrapped his arms around Callus

callus closed his eyes and drifted off